💰 HELLO THERE. YES, I’M THE MILLION. NICE TO MEET YOU. 💰
I know what you’re thinking. A million dollars and I’m just… lying here. Calm. Shiny. Completely unbothered. I don’t fold. I don’t wrinkle. I don’t stress about wallets. I exist purely to look impressive and quietly judge your other desk decorations. And honestly, I do that very well.
I’m gold plated, which means I show up bright even when the room lighting is doing absolutely nothing for you. My surface catches light in that way that makes people stop mid-sentence and squint. Not flashy, exactly. More like confidently ridiculous. I’m not trying to be subtle. I’m a million. Subtle left the room already.
Made from PET plastic, I’m smooth, sturdy, and oddly satisfying to hold. I don’t tear. I don’t crumple. You can slide me into a display, prop me on a shelf, or casually leave me on a desk like it’s no big deal. I’ll just sit there pretending this is totally normal. Durable enough for handling, calm enough for decoration.
At 6 by 2.5 inches, I’m bill-sized but ego-heavy. Big enough to be noticed. Small enough to fit in frames, gift boxes, or that spot on your desk that feels like it needs something extra. I work as décor, a joke, a conversation starter, or all three at once depending on the day.
People pick me up and smile. That happens a lot. Some laugh. Some just nod slowly like they understand the assignment. I don’t buy things. I don’t pretend to. I exist to look good, spark curiosity, and remind everyone that sometimes value is about presentation, not purchasing power. And yes, I’m very comfortable with that role. 😁




