Hey. Yeah, I see you. Both of my eyes see you—one green, one brown. Don’t ask why they’re different. I was born this way.
You think you’re the star of the party? Hah! Not until you strap me on your noggin and let me do what I was built for: BLINKING my glorious light-beams of ridiculousness into the souls of strangers.
💡🕺
I come with three modes of light-flashing madness. There’s “Look at me, I’m subtle,” “Okay now you’re really looking,” and finally, “WHO GAVE THIS DUDE BATTERIES?!?” Just press my little power belly and prepare for eyeball disco.
💣🎉
I’ve got a body like a banana and eyes like a confused cyborg toddler. But don’t let the color fool you—I’m not just here to sit pretty. I’m here to light up the night like a confused UFO that took a wrong turn at Albuquerque.
👽🚀
Oh, and speaking of fuel—I run on three tiny AG13 batteries. Pre-installed, thank you very much. And yes, they’re replaceable, unlike your ex.
🔋💔
My goggles are so shiny and silver, NASA called to ask if they could use me as a satellite dish. I told them no. I belong on a human head. A majestic, party-going, decision-questioning head like yours.
🤩🎈
Wanna join my alien blinker cult? Just pop me on, push my button (gently, I’m sensitive), and get ready to become the unexplainable light show people whisper about for years.
💫🤖
Caution: may cause spontaneous dance battles, uncontrollable giggling, and temporary elevation of coolness levels to near-illegal status. Side effects include strangers asking, “Where’d you get that?!” and a subtle god complex.
🕺🤸♂️
I’m not just a headband. I’m a lifestyle. I’m an experience. I’m… basically your forehead’s new best friend. Now stop reading and start flashing, ya legend.
😎💡